Well, it is time for me to end my cancer recovery and go back full force to life. I have been blessed to be employed by a company with amazing health benefits. The last day I worked was March 2nd. That is a whole 6 months(very luckily paid) spent at home recovering from surgery and chemotherapy. It amazes me how much strength I have gotten back in the last month. It also amazes me how I am not 100% my old self. Hopefully, the iron infusion I received a few weeks ago will help give me more energy than I have now. Do not get me wrong, I have spent the last 2 weeks doing more than ever. I am back to all housework and parenting responsibilities. I no longer have to have naps or take breaks to get my energy back....that is so great to me. I have started walking, about 30-40 minutes at a time. I try to walk at least 4 days a week. The only thing holding me back are my feet. My poor feet have had the brunt of side effects from the chemo. I am slowly and painfully loosing my large toenail. I have also had issues walking since I started the Taxol. I love being out in nature, taking time to relax and working to get my strength back. I pay for it by hobbling for a day or so and having a lot of pain. But, I realize that the walking is helping and I am going a little further for a little longer each time. It remains to be seen how much standing on my feet at work for hours at a time will affect me. I look forward to finding out.
I am a worker. I have worked for the same company for 19 years. I started as a tech and now I am a pharmacist. I love my co-workers...they are my friends and family before anything else. I miss the times laughing and crying with them. I am as ready as I will ever be to start back to work. I do not think my energy or mental capacity will be a problem...just my feet. By going back to work, my life is back to what it was before my diagnosis. It seems I have come full circle. I never thought I would get to this point....these last 7 months since the diagnosis of breast cancer are all a blur. I have missed so much. That is OK. I will gladly have missed 6 months of my normal life to have years of life and activities ahead of me.
Just two little blips before I can put cancer behind me. I have my breast implant surgery September 20th. This will be the last big physical hurdle I have facing me. My doctor says this will seem like nothing compared to the mastectomy. I will be so glad to have these tissue expanders out of my chest. They no longer hurt me but are not natural to feel in my body. Luckily, I have vacation that week of surgery so I have more than enough time to recover. The second hurdle will be another MRI in November, the week before Thanksgiving. This will be my second test to verify that I am still cancer free. Otherwise, I embrace a normal and boring life. Being a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and pharmacist...that is me. I am better at all of these responsibilities without cancer.
Cancer has tough me a lot. I do not want to give cancer credit for anything. But instead of focusing on the negative effects of breast cancer I would prefer to think on the positives. Because of cancer, I have experienced more love, compassion, friendship, faith, and hope than I ever thought possible. I realized what a lucky person I was to have the family, friends, job, and co-workers I have. The support and love felt from my family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and strangers is an amazing blessing. I will never be able to repay some of the people who have helped and loved me the most. Their unselfish sacrifices helped me to live and fight. All I can do is love these people back the best way possible. Just remember, their is light at the end of the tunnel. I hope and pray no one ever has to experience cancer for themselves or a loved one. Unfortunately, I know that not to be true. It amazes me every time I go to my oncologist how many people have cancer...it is so sad. I was lucky. So many others will not be.
I am taking a break from the blog, at least I think I am . I hope to not have any more bad things to report on this page. I will now use it for updates only. Thank you for following me. It was very therapeutic to have an outlet to vent feelings and thoughts. Your support will be with me forever. I hope I never have to face another cancer diagnosis. There is always a possibility. Cancer has marked me but not beat me. That is the important lesson. I love you all.
Jennifer
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