The Love Of A Child

Well, this will be my last blog until my next chemo scheduled for Wednesday.  Trying to not think about that right now as I am feeling more like me.  Tim kept commenting on how "feisty" I was last night.  He was just happy to see me with more energy and more like the regular Jennifer.  I know my last blog seemed "dark" and upsetting.  It was just a way for me to vent feelings and frustrations that I felt.  I needed to get them out of my system.  And strange enough, after my expressed concerns about my children and missing time with them, Parker did the most amazing and loving gesture the other day....

I was tired...what else is new.  Thursday until Wednesday next week I have the boys with me.  A way to make up time since I have been sick, you could say.  Plus, I am trying to get a little extra Parker time in this summer while I am off work before he has to start kindergarten.....my heart begins palpitations just thinking of my baby starting school.  Anyway, Thursday I was tired and wanting to rest PLUS the boys needed a nap as well.  So, I popped in "Tarzan" and closed my eyes.  If the boys fell asleep as well, bonus....but at least I knew they rested for a while.  I am on my king size bed with both boys.  Parker is right next to me, in the crook of my arm.   Pearce is just past him holding my hand while he watches the movie.  That is enough to make my heart melt....I love holding Pearce's hand.  It is a very intimate gesture he has started to share.  But Parker, my sweet, loving, smart, and understanding son surprised me the most.  He turned to me and took the scarf off my mainly bald head(I feel like Darth Vader taking his helmet off before he dies every time I look at my head).  Parker threw the scarf to the floor, leaned over and kissed my bald head, ever so gently.  Then he kissed my forehead, eyes, nose, then mouth the same gentle way and said how much he loves me.  It just made my heart swell.  To be a child of 5 and make such a loving and innocent gesture of unconditional love to his mother....OH!!!  The guilt faded a little right then.

Personally, I think that is what motivated me the most to have an extra spring in my step yesterday.  Tim can call it feisty, but I just feel better physically and emotionally.  The love and support of my husband I could write about forever.  He amazes and humbles me pretty much every day now.  So, I hope all of you reading this feel the love I have felt in the last 24 hours.  It definitely does a mind and body good.  Have a great weekend and talk soon....