My Alternate Universe

I just can not turn my brain off.  I have tried watching TV, reading on my Kindle, and just laying in bed.  My brain just will not shut off.  So, here I am at 1:30 in the morning writing on my blog.  Is this what my life has become?  Surprisingly, I had no nap today(unlike the 3 I needed and took yesterday) and have been moving around most of the day.  I just knew going to sleep would be easy....NOT!!! 

Seeing as I am in such good spirits right now(really, no sarcasm), I don't mind not sleeping.  Other than Charlie will be awake in about 4-5 hours, I don't have to get up in the morning.  The boys will find me if I fall asleep upstairs....daddy takes too long to wake up for them.  They just give up and search the house for me.  We have lunch plans with friends at 11 then hoping to visit dad to watch the boys have fun at the pool.  If the lack of sleep and heat don't get me, I will have had one of my best weekends in a while.  It was while I was in bed and my mind was going that I had the thought of what a great place I am in now....

I play this thought in my head of my life in this cancer, surgery, chemotherapy world against what I would be doing in my alternate universe(i.e. my life before cancer) right now.  Funnily enough, for once these two worlds are on the same path.  I feel about 80% of my old self, and considering it seems like it has been months that I can say that, 80% feels like 100%.  So, if I did not have cancer right now and was not on short term disability, I would be starting my vacation week with my husband.  Tim is on vacation.  I am over the moon with excitement about this.  This will be the first week we have had together since before 2-8-11 when I was diagnosed and my world changed.  And our plans for this week would not be any different now as in my alternate universe.  I can stay up because I am on vacation and can sleep late.  Parker will have kindergarten camp at Lakeland Elementary this week every day from 9-12:30.  Pearce will have day care Monday through Wednesday.  So, that means Tim and I will get time to ourselves while the kids are at school.  We can do whatever we want.  We also will get some one-on-one time with both Parker and Pearce.  If I continue to feel more normal than sick I can almost forget for one week that I have cancer.  All of these multiple scenarios keep me awake, but for me they are all positives. 

So now I pray and stay positive hoping that the exhaustion, neuropathy, and pain stay away.  Knock on wood, this is the first week in 12 weeks that I have not had to vomit.  I am living my alternate universe right now as much as possible and loving it.  Someones prayers are working for me and I thank you for that....